Every month I'm going to do a post detailing how my anxiety has been for the month previously. This helps me keep track of the ways I am feeling on a monthly basis and maybe it might give those an insight to how much of an emotional roller coaster it is to go through on a daily basis who have no experiencing dealing with someone who suffers with a mental illness, whether it is a loved one or someone they are worried about.

The month of January has been very up and down in terms of anxiety. The start of it was very tough to cope with, a lot of negative news for my family. I've been trying hard to not let it get inside my head, but we all know that's easier said than done.

I've been trying my hardest to stick to my new schedule, or my new structure, to keep my head clear. It's been working and sometimes I've had a few dips where I've just been too drained mentally to do everything within that day that I've got listed to do but I've been persevering and even in my low moments, where I feel like I'm too weak to fight against the anxiety I surprise myself and keep fighting the things that trigger it.

I'm pretty proud of myself though, in regards to goals I've reached this month. I've completed the following:

• Not check news sites in Noord-Brabant as much, including 112 Drimble which at the time may ease my anxiety for like 5 seconds and then make me panic for the next few hours or so.
• I've written almost 7,000 words in my novel since starting my new schedule 2-3 weeks ago. It's not much, but it's almost 7k more than what I started with. 
• I've started to think more rationally about things instead of jumping and assuming the worse. If my brain is starting to go on that track of thinking the worst, I focus on an alternative that seems more rational.
• I've been cooking. I'm still a beginner and I wasn't very confident at doing things in the kitchen but in the last weekend of January I cooked an entire meal for my family for the first time, by myself and baked a chocolate fudge cake. They were slightly adapted recipes and I may do posts on them if anyone is interested?